I'm glad we actually got to see Russell at the end of "Let's Boot and Rally," as I was half-expecting - what with the arbitrary time limit placed on Eric and Bill's hunt - that they'd come up empty handed and the episode would end with their stake-vests flashing red. That being said though - what did happen at the end? I mean, I guess I know. Alcide wolfed out. But it was shot so weird. He just kind of bent down behind Sookie, who was blocking the whole shot, and then we heard a wolf growl. Kind of awkward. Plus, hasn't it been established that wolves are no match for vamps unless they're in a pack?
Anyway, this episode was still a bit better than the previous four and although it's no longer fun to watch the characters on True Blood meta-out and call attention to how insane their lives are, Sookie was more fun to watch back in the saddle with Bill and Eric. It's funny. They make her more interesting, but she makes them less interesting. Strange dynamic. Also, she was extra pissy and still partially drunk, so her sass made it feel like a "Scooby Gang" reunion, True Blood-style. Also, given that we've all known for a while how much Alcide's been in love with Sookie, it was amusing to see Bill and Eric show up right as she vomited on his shoes.
Kiss me deadly...
I really liked the Jessica/Tara scene at Fangtasia. It seems as though they didn't decide to soften Pam as Tara's maker, but instead had Tara bond with another baby vamp. Jessica's "It gets better" speech was a well-intended, in not obvious, allegory and I liked that the two of them were bonding over the fact that being immortal isn't a completely terrible concept. It helped distract me from the fact that Tara was bartending at a vampire nightclub a mere two days after being turned. Too bad the two of them had to have that silly super-speed bathroom brawl at the end. And too bad for Hoyt that the latest in Fangbanger fashion is dressing like the drummer from Spandau Ballet. I noticed too that Jessica had to tease up her hair, Lita Ford-style, to go out on the prowl. It reminded me of how Buffy was able to spot a vampire, in the pilot episode of that series, based on the a guy's outdated clothes.
So things were better here, even though we still had to spend an extended amount of time with Terry and Patrick. Who now seem to be victims of a curse that invokes a vengeful Ifrit (yes, I googled it like the soldier dude did). And even though I don't care about Terry, or this side story, at all we at least got to see a big smoke demon frizzle-fry someone to death. And who doubts a curse on True Blood? How can Patrick think that a giant fire demon is fake when vampires exist out in the open? He lives in a world where unholy monsters walk freely among humans.
I suppose my least favorite part of "Let's Boot and Rally" was Jason...once again hating vampires! Oh, and seeing things that aren't there. Also "once again." But instead of bullet holes in between people's eyes, it's fang marks on their necks. It's as if he's only got two or three stories and he just keeps cycling through them. On the flip side of that, things took a more dramatic turn with Sam and Luna; the two of them getting gunned down in front of her house. Yes, Sam is fine, but I'm not curious to see if the show's getting rid of Luna. Someone in the comments last week pointed out that these "shifter murders" were also a part of the Charlaine Harris books, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't a redneck posse committing them. So it's been changed, and for the better, I think. A major theme of this series since the beginning has been prejudice and it sort of vanished for a while. I'm curious to see what has humans filming themselves killing shifters and not vamps. Is it just less dangerous?
Oh, and while the Lafayette/Brujo stuff is a waste, I wasn't expecting to see Alfre Woodard back as Ruby. Or Kevin Alejandro back as Jesus' head. It's still not good, mind you. But sometimes, on True Blood, all I'm looking for is a few "WTF?" moments to push me through an episode
Matt Fowler is a writer for IGN. Follow him on Twitter at @TheMattFowler and IGN.
Such a big, sprawling season ender. Where to begin?
Oh, I know. ZOMBIE HORSE! ZOMBIE HORSE! ZOMBIE HORSE! How about that? Yeah, three blasts of the signal horn really does suck, doesn't it? And even though we've all gotten our fill of roaming zombie hordes on AMC's The Walking Dead, there's something to be said about the undead slowly marching through the stark, white blizzard-y conditions that lie beyond the wall. It really does make them seem more ghoulish. Plus, at the heart of the White Walkers (which we also got to finally see atop the mangled horse) and their undead legions is dark magic. Which seems a bit more sinister than a biological plague. And seeing the bone brigade slowly close in on the Fist of the First Men made for a very powerful image to leave us with until next year.
"I miss me mother's farting."
"Valar Morghulis," named after the words Jaqen imparts to Arya, was a great way to close out the season. And much of the finale's format mirrored the Season 1 finale, "Fire and Blood" - with a ton of fallout scenes that dealt with the aftermath of a big penultimate episode, coupled with a big moment from Daenerys. Yes, so far it seems that the big King's Landing stuff goes down in episode nine, leaving Dany to finish off her story, with her biggest moments, in the final chapter. Which is fine. And the Dany bits of "Valar Morghulis" were great. The best of the entire season, in fact. Her trek into the House of the Undying, including her unexpected reunion with Drogo and Rhaego, was fantastic. It really helped remind us of the woman she was back in Season 1, which I think is important given how strong and boastful, to a fault, she's had to be this year. Watching her walk away from the two of them, following the shrieks of her baby dragons, made a powerful statement. Plus, who doesn't love watching three dragons spit fireballs at a creepy old Warlock?
But just because Dany now realizes that Jorah was right, and that Xaro's empty vault was a perfectly-timed metaphor for all his empty promises, that doesn't mean she's gone soft. Locking Xaro and, of all people, Doreah, inside the fault was proof positive that she won't suffer traitors - even ones who merely sleep with the enemy.
One of the Game of Thrones pairings that I was hoping wouldn't get short-sheeted this year was Jaime and Brienne, who only had one brief scene back in "The Prince of Winterfell." But their scene here, as they ran into three Northern soldiers, was great; antagonistic, yet supportive. With both of them willing to protect the other in order to survive the trek to King's Landing. And while Brienne claims to be "no lady," you can see that she does have a soft spot for violence against women. Which I suspect, seeing as how she lives in freakin' cruel-ass Westeros, has made her an extremely angry, unfulfilled person. Her slow, brutal kill of the third soldier ("Two quick deaths" for the others, like the hanged girls) showed us just how vengeful she can be. And it was great to watch Jaime see her do it. Wonder how much sass he'll have to dish out after seeing her do that?
Given the scope and scale of an episode like "BLackwater," you had to wonder just how big things would get in the finale? And so when Theon, surrounded by Northern forces, began to speechify his men into what seemed to be a suicide mission, it seemed unlikely we'd see another battle. Especially given the fact that we haven't even been introduced to Lord Bolton's bastard, come down from The Dreadfort, on the other side of the Winterfell walls. So to see Dagmar knock out Theon, right at the peak of his fervor, was fitting. And yes, it was a good speech.
YOLO!
And while that scene was great, the one between Theon and Maester Luwin that came right before it was even better, as it did a great job of creating even more sympathy for Theon ("Do you know what it's like to be told how lucky you are to be someone's prisoner?") and acted as a great swan song for Luwin. Luwin, who after all that had happened was doing his best to help Theon escape and find a new life in the Night's Watch. ("You're not the man you're pretending to be.")
There were many heartfelt moments in "Valar Morghulis," but Luwin's death was the one that got me. This show did a great job of building up this man's relationship to Bran and ever since Ned and Cat left Winterfell, Luwin had become "the one who stayed." It was very sad to watch him slowly die in the Godswood and his death, eventually at the merciful hands of Osha, personified the destruction of Winterfell itself. A place that, as it turns out, Theon worshiped and identified as being a home to honorable and beloved men.
I'm sure it was a great relief to many of you who haven't read the books that Tyrion was still alive after "Blackwater," even though he's been handed a bit of a demotion. Oh, and his father's getting all the credit for defeating Stannis. Oh oh, and he's now got a nasty diagonal sword slash running across his face. And even though Varys said that the two of them can no longer be seen together, it was still tremendous to hear him tell Tyrion "There are many who know that without you this city would have faced certain defeat." Still, as low as Tyrion is right now, his scene with Shae was first time that I really felt like the two of them were in love. And maybe it was good to save this kind of emotional clarification for a time like this, when he's hit rock bottom and has no Bronn, or Hill Tribes, to protect him. Because even though he tried to, in his grief, push Shae away, she chose to stay. Even though they're both still in danger.
On the other side of the war, and in keeping with the flames-reflected-in-eyeball motif, Stannis almost strangled Melisandre to death ("Where's your God now?") for what he believed to be false visions. And while he eventually became entranced by a flame, and maybe saw some visions of his own, the thing I remembered most about the scene was the regret and guilt Stannis felt, finally setting in, over killing Renly.
Meanwhile, Sansa, thanks to Magaery Tyrell's queenly ambitions, is off the hook and Joffrey, at least in public, is acting fairly King-like. Oh, don't get me wrong. He's still a monster through and through, but it looks like he at least now knows how to act the part in court. Maybe Tywin's presence has something to do with it. And as for the Stark girl who managed to escape Winterfell? Well, Arya's now out and about with Gendry and Hot Pie, taking a mysterious coin from Jaqen - who finally revealed himself to be a "Faceless Man." Which is a person from Braavos that is apparently even more lethal that Arya's old "dancing teacher" Syrio Forel. And with that, Jaqen was no more; magically creating a new face for himself.
"Valar Morghulis" nicely set us up for next season (Jon Snow, now "The Man who killed Quorin Halfhand," seeing Mance Rayder's enormous army, Littlefinger vowing to help Sansa escape, Brienne and Jaime headed to King's Landing, Bran and Rickon headed to the Wall) but it also gave us a cliffhanger with a certain amount of immediacy - the zombie attack on the Night's Watch. And because if that, I believe, the long wait until next Spring will be even more excruciating than is was after last year's finale. The (and this isn't from the books) that I wished had happened was a small scene where Tywin had come to some sort of realization that his cup-bearer girl had been Arya Stark. And then maybe even a small smile could have curled across his lips. I guess I was just looking for something to put a stamp on all those great scenes they had together.
Warning: No BOOK SPOILERS on the comment sections for our Game of Thrones reviews. Please do not post anything that will ruin the series for others. You will be banned. And for everyone else, beware of trolling jerks.
SPOILER WARNING: Harley Quinn's Revenge takes place after the ending of Batman: Arkham City. This article mentions how the game ends.
I've already declared that Harley Quinn's Revenge is what downloadable content should be based on a 30-minute preview of the single-player story expansion for Batman: Arkham City. Luckily, after playing through the entire two-hour campaign, I'm not going to try and weasel out of that statement. Although I wish the ending was a bit more satisfying, that's nitpicking. Harley Quinn's Revenge offers a fresh take on the gameplay we love and expands the narrative developer Rocksteady has worked so hard to create. This is the type of DLC story-driven games should be pumping out.
Picking up a few weeks after the events of Batman: Arkham City, Harley Quinn's Revenge opens with Batman missing. Seems Harley took over the Joker's old haunt in Arkham City, Batman went to investigate, and now the Caped Crusader hasn't been heard from in days. As such, we start as Robin investigating the scene, jump back to Batman to see what went wrong, and then flip flop to tell the tale.
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This is the type of DLC story-driven games should be pumping out.
Needless to say, that's rad. Harley's DLC is familiar but fresh. Robin's moves (his bo staff becomes a shield, he can grapple to people's chest for a zip kick, etc.) are the same from his downloadable challenge missions, but this is our first chance to try them out in a story situation. We get to hear Robin talk to Oracle, see him use detective vision, and become Batman's savior. That's a nice shakeup after dozens of hours patrolling rooftops and looking for Riddler trophies as the Dark Knight.
Make no mistake, this is the same gameplay I lauded back in October with its reversal system, combos and gadgets, but viewing it through this new lens makes it exciting all over again. Using a shuriken instead of a Batarang is a bigger deal than you might think, and as someone who hadn't really played since the game came out, I enjoyed slipping back into the game I loved so much. It was like seeing an old friend again.
Save him, Boy Wonder!
But it's worth pointing out that you can't ignore the mission at hand here and go scope the city for side quests as the Boy Wonder. Harley Quinn's Revenge is a standalone mode off the main menu and doesn't tie into your previous saves or the open world, although it does have a collectable set of Harley balloons to find and a bunch of new Trophies/Achievements.
The missions you'll tackle drop you right back into taking out snipers and wailing on guys with stun guns, but they can be a bit fetch questy, focusing on collecting keycards and diffusing bombs. Still, I never got sick of heading out on the next leg of my journey because the enemies are always varied. Even though I'm taking on room after room of guys as I make my way around the steel mill, Harley Quinn's Revenge tweaked the formula with each group.
Switching out the enemy types is great, but the continuation of the Arkham City story kept me playing and justifies the purchase. Challenge rooms and costumes are enticing to some gamers, but I wanted to know what happened to these characters after Batman walked out of that theater with Joker's dead body. To pick up here and find the Dark Knight's friends concerned about him emotionally -- as if he's for the Joker -- is alarming and intriguing all at once. Batman's always been unhinged, so how crazy is he now that his partners are this concerned for him?
However, that question is the DLC's major downside. It's never answered. We're teased with the information that Batman is struggling with the loss of his arch nemesis and his lover Tala, but we never get to see it. We never get to see him deal with it. I'm not going to spoil the ending here, but don't expect to have any more closure than you did before. In fact, this might even raise more questions for Batman's character than the original Arkham City ending.
But that's not the worst thing in the world -- just something for us fans to obsess over until the next game, piece of DLC or comic book chapter.
"I will hurt you for this. A day will come when you think you're safe and happy and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth. And you'll know the debt is paid."
Somehow, I felt as thought we were bound to get an episode like "The Prince of Winterfell" before we headed into the endgame of Season 2. An episode that wasn't bad (this is Game of Thrones after all) but an one that had a lot of moving parts and exposition. And while there's nothing wrong with exposition or dialogue-heavy scenes, this chapter felt like it had a lot of stories that simply began and didn't finish. And I mean actual "episodic stories." Because besides Robb finally forsaking his vow and getting busy with Talisa, and Tyrion's tense scene with Cersei when he thought she might have been holding Shae as a prisoner, everything else felt a bit incomplete.
Even Arya's story, and great scene with Jaqen where he finally lost his smile after she threatened him with his own name, felt too much like a fragment. And yes, I will definitely mourn the loss of Arya and Tywin as a scene-stealing duo. They didn't even get any final words with one another before he impulsively rode out to meet Robb in battle. And even though Tywin clearly likes her, one would think that he'd think of a better fate than leaving her behind with The Mountain. Tywin should know that the odds of her surviving that servitude would be extremely low.
Sure, there were some great moments to be had here; a furious Robb placing Cat under arrest for treason, Tyrion and Bronn quibbling away like an old married couple while trying to come up with a way to defend King's Landing, Yara proudly pleading with Teon to abandon Winterfell ("Don't die so far from the sea"). But there was also a lot of stuff that teased us and gave us no resolution; Jaime and Brienne setting out on a boat, Qhorin wanting Jon to go undercover in Mance Rayder's camp, Sam and Grenn discovering a stash of dragon glass, and that one scene toward the end with Dany and Jorah. So unlike the great, extended sequences of "The Old Gods and the New" and the tremendous one-on-ones from "A Man Without Honor," this episode hopped around a bit too much. Save for Sansa and Melisandre, I think it touched on every single character's story.
Last week, I found that a lot of you who hadn't read the books were able to predict that those two burned corpses were not Bran and Rickon. Just the fact that the murderous act happened off screen was enough to tip some of you off, while others noticed the few mentions here and there of the two orphans that Bran sent to the farm. So I'm not sure how much of a revelation it was to most of you to find out that Bran and Rickon are alive and kicking (well, Rickon's kicking at least). I think, possibly, the bigger surprise here was that Osha had doubled back with them and that they're now sort of hiding right under Theon's nose, in Winterfell. And then there's Theon himself. Still trying to do the respectful thing by offering gold to the farmer only to find out that Dagmar already killed off all the witnesses. Way too little. Way too late.
And so Lord Bolton's bastard is just a few days out from Winterfell and Stannis is a few days out from King's Landing. Which just made this episode feel like a grand set-up for bigger things to come. A bridge episode. And I suppose a lot of your personal enjoyment of it will depend on how invested you are in Robb and Talisa. And Tyrion and Shae for that matter. Again, Shae's portrayed as such a tough, argumentative nut on this show, it's been hard to determine how much Tyrion actually cares for her. But here, after he discovered that Cersei had nabbed the wrong whore, he opened up to Shae, confessing his love. Perhaps it was even the first time Tyrion himself realized he loved Shae. "I would kill for you, do you know that? And I expect I'll have to before this is over."
And poor Ros. Not having the greatest time in King's Landing, is she? The scene between Cersei and Tyrion was, of course, great; with Tyrion having to try and hide the fact that she'd hurt someone he actually cared for. But the best part of the whole thing was how well it all played considering the fact that Tyrion and Cersei sort of bonded in the last episode. But with Cersei now thinking that Tyrion purposefully wants to Joffrey to die in battle, her claws came out once again. And we got to hear Tyrion deliver one of the best, threatening lines of the entire series.
And while "The Prince of Winterfell" might not have been this series' best outing, we did get to: Meet a dude named the "Lord of Bones" who wore a freakin' awesome skull on his face, hear the tale of how Davos saved Stannis from starving at Storm's End during Robert's Rebellion and see Tyrion use the word "pigs***" as a secret code for wild fire. Now, I know that a lot of you who've read the books have some gripes over certain characters being left out of Season 2, but please don't fill up the boards with the names of people who show up on the series. If you didn't get the chance to read my pre-Season 2 interview with Thrones producer David Benioff, he basically said that, after Season 1, they're no longer doing straight book-to-season adaptations. So things that happen in Clash of Kings might show up in Season 3 while things that happen in Storm of Swords might be moved up and show up in Season 2. They're now more interested in adapting the "saga" itself.
"Tessellations" was a bit of a dud as far as Touch episodes go if you consider that the main strength of this series, and the tipping point regarding whether you're going to get a decent episode or not, resides in its ability to pull together those "global connectivity" stories in clever, unexpected ways. Unfortunately, the show misses way more than it hits in that department, and even when it does hit the chance is more than likely that you've had to endure some insufferable characters along the way.
The most interesting things that this episode had to offer involved the reveal that someone inside Aster Corp, where Jake's aunt works, is behind the sinister plot to keep Jake away from Martin, and test him with numbered blocks in order to bring out his special abilities. That, and Avram's (Bodhi Elfman) explanation of Teller's block test to Clea; the five platonic solids (each shape representing a classical element) and a dodecahedron to represent the universe.
Other than that though, "Tessellations" was filled with more dumb characters and a rather unbelievably dangerous situation for Martin. I know they did their best to explain , but it still seemed like a bit of a stretch, even for this show, to buy that Martin would risk dying and no longer being around for Jake. And what was the point of making Joey, the Mobius shipping employee who lost his job and had the wife with MS, get singled out as a hero on the news if that's not what got him his job back? Martin still had to go talk to Nelson (Stabone from Fast Times!) and threaten him in order to get him to rehire Joey.
Plus, there wasn't even a vast, intricate web connected people here. There were, really, only two stories; the shipping yard and Israeli Tomer with his Palestinian girlfriend. And that story played out in an even more cornball fashion than the heist scenario. Once again, we get a "dreamer." A guy in love who constantly aggravates the girl he loves. A girl who's cold and practical only up until the guy floors her with a grand romantic gesture. But never the first grand dramatic gesture, right? It's always the second one. Didn't we just go through this last week in "Music of the Spheres?" And so, because the girl always winds up sort of just "caving," it becomes hard to believe that the girl really loves the guy at all.
Also, we got another scene where Avram himself has a brief, somewhat inconsequential connection to the "B" story when Tomer called him to randomly ask him about numerology. And since the "B" story, like last week, also involved a man looking for a gift for his girl, Avram was strangely mixed in. The trouble here was that as soon as Avram told Tomer that his message regarding "9808 becoming 2545" meant that something good was going to come from something bad, we knew everything would turn out just fine. Not that we couldn't assume that anyway, with this being Touch and all, but the whole scene felt forced. And it made me roll my eyes at Tomer even more for calling Avram to ask him whether or not the message was a good one or not based on the numbers.
While "A Man Without Honor" didn't have as many big, striking scenes as some of the past few episodes (riots, raids, whore abuse, shadow births), it made up for its lack of face-melting moments with some absolutely fantastic one-on-one scenes. Cersei and Tyrion. Cat and Jaime. Jon and Ygritte. And am I the only one here who could watch an entire season of just Arya and Tywin? A lot of this episode reminded me a lot of the scene, back in Season 1, between Robert and Cersei; a scene not found in the book, but expertly written to fit inside the world and make it richer.
And while we knew that the twincest between Cersei and Jaime had grown into, shall we say, a rumor with hair on its chest, it was amazing to hear both Cersei and Jaime, in their separate conversations, speak rather openly about it. With Cersei having a very unexpectedly real and touching moment with Tyrion, and Jaime, well, doing what he does best - simply owning anyone he talks to with humor, clarity and logic. If only Tywin truly knew how much if Jaime was like him in that respect.
And staying with Cersei's great scenes, she also spoke to Sansa, after discovering that the poor girl had gotten her "moon's blood." Telling her that the more people she loves, the weaker she is. And, yes letting on that she of course knows what a monster Joffrey has become. "You can try, little dove," Cersei says after Sansa asks "Shouldn't I love Joffrey?" But while Cersei was more guarded with Sansa, she really crept out of her armor with Tyrion, actually wondering aloud if Joffrey was born mad because of her incest - in the same way that the Targaryens produced crazed offspring. That scene was so damn good that, other than Tyrion not quite knowing how to console Cersei, you wouldn't readily know that the two of them had been at each other's throats all season.
- HBO
"I can't believe I ate the whole thing."
And while it might have seemed odd to give such a large speaking role to Ser Alton Lannister, a man we hardly knew, his scene with Jaime, where they both reminisced about squiring (Alton for Jaime, Jaime for Barristan Selmy), was incredible. And even though Jaime is taken to task later on for killing Lord Karstark's son, the true evidence of his "lack of honor" was the cold murder of Alton, the cousin he'd just bonded with. But then all of our hate for Jaime sort of unravels by the end when he talks to Cat and points out the futility of vows while offering up a bit of perspective on the entire situation. As if he were somehow an outsider. Because I don't think there's any one of us who thinks Jaime killing the Mad King wasn't just. And yet, he's completely maligned because of it. Because of "honor." And, again, Jaime talks about sleeping with his sister. Yes, Cat already knew, but it seems as though Jaime feels a bit of relief when he talks about it. Especially when he can use it, in a roundabout way, to prove that he has more honor than the bastard-producing Ned Stark. "So many vows. They make you swear and swear."
And speaking of Ned's bastard (and this episode's theme of vows and betrayal), Jon had both hands full with Ygritte this week; with her taunting him about his morning wood, his blushing and his vow of celibacy. All while preaching to him about the advantages of being free. And yes, we got to hear something book fans have been simply dying for her to say: "You know nothing, Jon Snow." Man, it was as if millions of shippers suddenly "squeeed" out in delight and were suddenly silenced. Ygritte is great because you know that she's both attracted to Jon totally f***ing with him too ("I could teach you how to do it"). Listening to her, you can hear that she wants Jon to trade sides. As if, for her, that's also the best way that the two of them could finally be together.
And while those scenes functioned as the cheeky in this chapter, Theon kept true to the "Man Without Honor" theme in his hunt for Bran and Rikkon. "It's better to be cruel than weak" seems to be his new philosophy. It's clear now that Theon, in just a short while, has grown more delusional; seeing the hunt as a game. Willing to do absolutely anything to avoid humiliation at the hands of his sister or his father. And so we come to the point here where, having read the books, I won't speculate any further. The torched corpses of the boys at the end made quite a graphic statement and hearing Luwin cry out in anguish was painful to hear. Theon, as Rodrik said, is truly lost.
Daenerys and Jorah had some fine scenes in this episode too; before witnessing a freakin' freaky Warlock coup and Xaro actually making a big, murderous play to become the King of Qarth. More than any episode before, even when she was lost in the desert, reality really set in on Dany. She basically had to come to terms with the fact that the dragons were . With Irri dead, and Doreah missing, Dany was forced to admit that, well, she was s***. She even had a hard time, still, trusting in Jorah; whose motivations are still tainted in her eyes. Maybe now that she's witnessed how rotten Xaro is, she'll finally learn to trust Jorah fully. Even though that "Quaith of the Shadow" woman called Jorah out for betraying Dany. From behind that mask of...nativity chocolates? I dunno, whatever it is, it doesn't look comfortable.
- HBO
And finally...Arya and Tywin. What a remarkable pairing. And even though it like the honeymoon might be over for them (considering that Arya now feels a bit bolder around him) I still relish every moment. Whether Arya's menacingly holding a knife behind his back while he speechifies about "legacy" or they're talking about Harrenhal history and Visenya Targaryen riding her dragon. "Most girls are idiots," Arya tells Tywin, explaining her passion for strong, fiery heroines. And you can just see how much Tywin wishes that she were perhaps even a part of his family. The scenes between these two will definitely be one of the things I remember most about this season.
Whoa, now that was one powerfully wicked episode. No, nothing happened along the lines of a smoke demon birth or supernatural regicide, but "The Old Gods and the New" was filled some intensely heinous human events. Just some amazing, killer sequences. And it seems as though Vanessa Taylor, who also wrote the great and demented "Garden of Bones," might be this series' go-to scribe for big, intensely disturbing moments. From Theon raiding Winterfell and brutally hacking off Ser Rodrik's head, to Joffrey inciting a riot and nearly getting Sansa raped and murdered, this episode was an absolute stand-out that helped put this season into perspective; perhaps even finally giving it shape.
Having read the Martin books, I was surprised to see Theon arrive at Winterfell so soon. And I'm pretty sure that other book fans felt the same way since the season wound up skipping past a lot of Theon's actual journey to get there. But I see this as a good thing. For once, we book readers got to be surprised along with the non-readers. Surprised , sure, but still taken aback. And by leaping over some of Theon's story to get to Winterfell the producers and writers were able to turn the actual attack on Theon's former home into a bigger moment then it would have been if we had spent an extra episode or two with him plotting to take down Winterfell. Which would have ruined the surprise.
And now Theon has officially moved beyond being a pompous letch to being a full-fledged horrible human being. Yes, I can officially shout "F*** you!" at him, as he foolishly tried his best to lead a bloodless raid; wanting somehow to be both respected by his ship's crew the Winterfellians. It's funny to see someone who's turned his back on the Starks essentially wanting Ned Stark. Or, at least, be loved and respected like him. It actually kind of reveals the way Theon felt about Ned. But then everything turns massively ugly when Ser Rodrik refuses to yield and, well, Theon does his damnedest to give Joffrey a run for his money; competing for the ultimate "wretched prick" prize of Season 2. But even though Theon has now done the unthinkable (and to some, the unexpected), he's still given actual layers. For what it's worth, you can see how torn and conflicted he is. You see him not to hurt anyone. But, of course, when he has to make a bottom line decision, he makes the monstrous one. "Gods help you, Theon Greyjoy. Now you are truly lost."
- HBO
Royal Guard Photobomb!
And while Theon's clumsy sack of Winterfell got him a thousand douchebag points, there's simply no beating Joffrey. In the exact same episode, not only does Joffrey out-do Theon, but he out-does himself. Again. He's a marvel. He was so horrifyingly idiotic in this one that he actually caused the usually calm and collected Tyrion to snap and give him an epic slap right in his kingly mouth (again!). "We've had vicious kings and we've had idiot kings, but I don't know that we've ever been cursed with a vicious idiot." So damn good. And a shot to the mouth so gratifying that the internet is sure to have a field day. Loop it. Gif it. Go nuts!
Man, what a scene. And can we now that Sansa has more than paid for her Season 1 sins? The riot scene was even tweaked enough from the books that I got pretty damn nervous watching the Sansa attack; not quite sure where they were going with it. But then, before I knew it, Tyrion wasn't the only one getting a great hero's moment this week. Yes, it was The Hound to the rescue. But now what? That crowd, that Joffrey vocally wanted to have killed, has crossed that line of no return. Because some of Joffrey's rich folk retinue sure as hell didn't make it out of that mob scene alive and . "Set up"-wise, there may have only been a few lines here and there about how the people in King's Landing were starving, but I'd like to think that Joffrey, being the way he is, would be enough to cause even a sane and well-fed crowd to lose it and start ripping royals to ribbons.
We got to see a little more of Robb and Lady Talisa out on the war trail, with Cat returning and reminding Robb of his promise to wed one of the ugly Frey daughters. Again, we have to shift time around in our heads here since Theon's attack on Winterfell took place... a few weeks after the last episode? And that's being very generous. A month is probably fairer, but again that would also mean that a month had passed for everyone else. Especially since, in the same episode, Cat and Robb get Luwin's raven about the raid - tethering them, at least to those events and that timeline. Of course, Robb wants to head back North, but much in the same way he can't give up the Kingslayer for his sisters, he can't abandon his battles. So Lord Bolton, who we don't know all that much about, tells Robb that he'll send word to his bastard, who we haven't met, to retake Winterfell. I won't say much more about this other than... I hope we soon get this story filled in a bit more.
Jon Snow meeting Ygritte, the fire-haired wildling lass, really helped juice up his storyline. For the first time, after he and Ygritte got separated from Quorin, I felt like Jon was experiencing his own story. And not just tagging along with a bunch of grizzled Night's Watch superiors who were exposition-ing him all about how the Night's Watch sucks as a career path ("We're not fighting an enemy, we're fighting the North"). Not that it was bad to watch. I did like Quorin's speech about how, really, you're to resent being the Night's Watch. But now that Jon is off on his own, with a feisty temptress, his trek has become a more lively and exciting. Downton Abbey's Rose Leslie is perfect at Ygritte; stubborn, brave and yet also instantly attracted to Jon. And yes, even though you can tell that the two of them have a certain "meet-cute" spark, Ygritte is definitely toying and teasing Jon with her hip gyrations; not really expecting it to go anywhere except to frustrate and torment him.
- HBO
Maniacal laugh. Maniacal laugh....
It's interesting watching Daenerys this season as she always feels the need to come off as strong and confident. And that's understandable, for sure. But it's a far cry from her Season 1 arc and since Jorah was off trying to find her a ship in this episode (and the only time she lets her guard down is with him) Dany tried to boast and "I am Daenerys Stormborn!" her way around Qarth with Xaro. Meeting up, once again, with the somewhat-contemptuous Spice King - who also stood as proof that Stannis Baratheon isn't the only "Grammar Nazi" in town. Dany is still trying to get Qarth sponsorship, which seems to mean that she's not fully listening to Jorah's advice about "making her own way." And at this point on the show, I think the audience trusts Jorah's wisdom more than hers.
So until Jorah comes back, Dany's apt to make mistake after mistake. As proven with the theft of her dragons. And the killing of Irri. Awww. At least she got to get in one final "It is known" back in last week's episode. So now Daenerys has nothing to brag about. The three things that were keeping looming scoundrels from savaging her are gone. Off to, what I assume was, the House of the Undying. Which maybe should have warned Dany about (*narrows eyes at Xaro*). You know, that Warlocks might also kill everyone in your house and steal your most prized possessions.
I mentioned last week how much I loved watching Arya and Tywin together and, man, that still stands. This week the two of them had a great scene together where it seemed like they actually connected as people. Especially Tywin, who talks more candidly to Arya than he does to any of the men on his war council. And even though Arya stealing the note (which actually lets us know that Tywin gets more satisfaction out of their chats than she does) meant that she had to a kill-name with Jaqen, it was still a very fun sequence; with Amory Lorch opening the door and falling flat on his face. Of course now, since Lorch's death can't be considered an accident, everyone has to know that there's an assassin hiding somewhere in Harrenhal. It's even fun watching Littlefinger "out in the field" working hard to pull the strings; coming to Tywin on behalf of the Tyrells.
Book purists will certainly have their gripes, but I found "The Old Gods and the New" to be nothing short of an intense triumph; filled with tons of cruelty and shock. Plus, there was some fun to be had with Jon Snow and some suspense to be found with Arya. It also, I must say, provided genuine surprises for those who of us who have read the source material.
